The Importance of Friendship

I don’t know about you, but I have found that being a working mom makes it really challenging to find time for anything not related to family, work, or house “stuff”. Any extra time I do have I usually spend working out, reading or writing in the wee hours to ensure they don’t conflict with anything else on the calendar.

I work out because it helps me gain clarity. I put in my ear buds, jam the best music and go nuts. By the end of my workout I feel like a better version of myself, things don’t bother me as much, problems seem smaller and solutions are clearer. The best part? After a really good workout I’m totally exhausted which leads to a great night’s sleep.

I read because I love to self improve. Continuous learning is such a great gift we can give to ourselves. It helps to see other perspectives and look at problems with a different vantage point. I am always looking for ways to improve; be a better parent, be a better wife, be a better leader, better athlete, better human…

Writing has become my therapy. I love to write and get the things swirling around in my brain on paper. I’d like to think that others relate to the things I’m writing about. I’d like to think that I am making someone’s day a little better in some small way; whether it’s connecting with them, making them laugh, lifting them up or simply giving them ideas that may help them in one way or another.

These are the things that fill me up.

Over the last couple of months I have felt like something was missing though. I was feeling a void that I couldn’t put my finger on. I realized that the one thing missing from my list above is taking the time to connect with friends. Good friends. Like the kind of friends that you can be completely open and honest with without judgement. Laugh until you cry friends. Lift you up when you need it the most friends. Friends that will tell you when you’re overreacting or being ridiculous. And, of course, the friends that let you ugly cry in front of them when you really need to.

You know what’s awesome? I am lucky enough to have these friends, both near and far.

You know what isn’t awesome? We have all become so busy with the chaos of life that it’s often the last thing we make time for. Not because we don’t care or because we don’t want to, but because life is busy. Other responsibilities take priority. It becomes one more thing to do and schedule when in reality, it’s one of the most important things we can do for our well-being.

Add the pandemic to the list and I was feeling like I needed time with my girls. I was feeling like I needed to talk things through with friends who wouldn’t judge and would give me perspective. And most importantly, honest feedback.

So I made the time and so did they.

Holy cow was I missing this.

Holy cow, was I needing this. More than I even realized.

I talk about gaining clarity through exercise … talk to your good friends about what’s going on in your life. Clarity will hit you square between the eyes. If they are truly good friends they won’t sugar coat. They’ll tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear.

I read to self improve. I realized there is no better way to improve yourself than spending time with some solid, kick ass, strong women who will inspire you, motivate you, give you honest feedback and perspective, lift you up when you are down and kick you in the ass when you need it the most.

Therapy can also be done through writing, but i'll tell you what... sitting with the women I’ve sat and talked with these last couple of weeks was the best therapy I could have asked for. They listened, like really listened to what was swirling around in my brain. They gave feedback I needed to hear. They talked about what was swirling around in their brains. I gave them honest feedback too. And we laughed. We laughed a lot.

I left each phone call and coffee date a better version of myself; calmer, clearer, more confident and feeling really really lucky. And supported. And connected.

And you now what? That time that I spent with them did not make my calendar explode. The day went on and things got done and nobody was negatively affected.

We often think of wellness as eating well and exercising but we forget the most important ingredients to the wellness recipe; some good ol’ fashioned rest and time with a supportive network of friends.

There is nothing better for the soul than time with your girls. Make the time, trust me, it will be worth it.